Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Choosing Joy

Read this today:

And it got me thinking(:

When Jesus told the disciples in John 21 to throw their nets on the other side, what did they think? Scripture doesn't tell us... all we get is that they did. No questions asked, and they didn't even know it was the Lord. Maybe John left their questioning out. Or maybe they were so frustrated with their empty nets they welcomed any help they could get. I'm pretty sure the seminary student in me could write a series of sermons on this short passage but I think I'll stick to just a few things

Am I willing to throw my nets on the other side, or do I stay in my comfort zone? When I hear His voice am I willing to listen?

Even if it sounds crazy?

I am better at this then I used to be. But sometimes I don't move. I just sit there and shake my head.

Because what He says sounds crazy... it doesn't fit into my plans... and it's just not what I want to do.

Sigh.... sometimes I'm so selfish and it just makes me mad.

Why can't I just get it that He knows better then I? He isn't going to change. He is always going to insist that we do things His way. I will never know better.

Why can't my pride just die!

My life would be much easier if I would just haul up the nets and cast them out on the other side, without asking questions, and doing so joyfully.

And now I find myself in a spot that stinks.... really, really stinks. Here's where I'm at, I have hauled in the nets, and I've even thrown them over the other side. The problem is that I'm mumbling and grumbling as I sit and wait.

Isn't that awful!!

But sadly... it's true.

I'm struggling to find a good attitude.

I guess at least now I'm at the point of admitting this struggle... for awhile I have been ignoring the sourness. As if ignoring it makes it look better.. or makes it go away.

Now that I've decided to stop ignoring it, I have to fix it....sigh....guess this sucky attitude is one of those weaknesses that God is turning my attention to.

Why did I my last post have to be about weaknesses??

That's the bad part about blogging... it's like being my own accountability partner...which is awful since I can't escape myself.

You think God is smiling up there right now... that maybe this is just one of the way's that He is molding me into His masterpiece.

I'm so thankful that He never gives up on me. That no matter how grumpy... ugly.... pitiful my attitude is He just keeps on molding. His hands stay wrapped around me, while I squirm, kick, and push.

I can throw a tantrum, yell at Him, even ignore Him but He will remain the same.

He's not going anywhere. 

The choice is mine... I can go along kicking and screaming... or Joyfully.

Today I pick JOY.


Seeing the big and beautiful Ben for the first time

Watching his proud daddy who couldn't stop smiling

Watching my best friend stare at her beautiful baby boy with a love that I don't yet understand

The strange realization that I really am an adult... after all my best friend just had a BABY!!

Knowing that I am never... NEVER alone.... He is always with me

Resting in the knowledge that He has great plans for my life

The fantastic conversations with the 3 yr old nephew on the way to the airport to see uncle Kyle

Hugging my brother for the first time in 2 months

The enormous amount of pride that I have for that baby brother

Seeing my brother surrounded by children that have missed him for so long

Soaking up cuddles from baby Lexi

Soaking up cuddles with baby Ben

Laughs on the couch late at night with the best friends anyone could ever ask for

The Little Mermaid(:


Tomatoes growing on the vines

The great pleasure I get from weeding my flower beds

Uplifting comments on my blog

New songs on the radio that lift me up when I need it the most

Time spent praying with my closest friends

Good fellowship around a table

Yummy, homemade cinnamon rolls

Time found to sit and write about the gifts in my life

1 comment:

~*Kristina_Marie*~ said...

Kat, I understand where you are at, because I am there, too. Bad attitudes, kicking and screaming, wanting to stay comfortable. Well, except I'm not 100% sure where or what I'm supposed to be doing at the moment...except bring Him glory in whatever I do. I'm praying for you! And I'm grateful for you, too. I do hope to see more of you and get to know you better. And...I'm glad to have found your blog. What an encouragement!