and so begins the season of storms

The day begins with out a speck of sun, dark clouds cover the sky and it makes getting out of bed so much harder. I wake up smiling.... this not-a-morning-person is smiling first thing. I wonder why and a glance at my bedside table reveals the culprit. That book, most of you know which one I'm talking about. That one which tells us that the secret to a full life is gratitude. And I remember how I fell asleep last night.... counting. Hmmm..... it really does work, doesn't it? This concept of taking captive every moment and turning it into a God-moment really does affect the soul.

I also remember how last nights chapter ended and the smile goes away. She says true gratitude isn't thankful so that life will change, no true gratitude is being thankful here, where I am at right now, and with no change expected.

I rather dislike that statement.

I sit here at work and watch the sky grow darker, and the wind get stronger. It's that time of the year again. Winter is on it's way out and the storm season is rolling on in. Spring is eagerly anticipated but with it comes the storms. Storms that while they quench the grounds can wreck havoc, devastating the earth. Yet we must have these storms, without the rain there can be no new life. New life requires the old to be stripped away, to be pruned, to be destroyed.

And the same must happen to us. The old must be torn down. We must be pruned, the dead things stripped away so that new life can grow.

Ann likens our lives to a canvas. The things that happen to us, the plans that fail, the dreams unfilled, and the pain that occurs all rip holes in our canvas. Ann proposes that instead of looking at these things as ruining our canvas, rather look at those things as holes to see God. That maybe the tough things in life happen so that we may see that it is God that controls our lives.

The wind dies down and the rain slows to a steady fall. The sound of the drops on the metal shop roof fill the office and I smile. I don't yet know if this idea of gratitude works in the long run, but I can tell that it worked today:-)

#615-623

Fun times at Awana's

Sweet note from a missing T&T

Sweet greetings from soft noses over the fence

My dog, never ever has he been disappointed to see me.

Those daffodils still a bright and cheery yellow

Raindrops hitting a metal roof

The howl of the wind

Soft thunder in the distant, always a reminder just how powerful my God is

Dew in a desert

It's raining... the large drops of water hit the ground and the flowers and grass drink their full. Scorching heat has left them dry... begging for rain. He hears their cry and answers. The Almighty cares about His creation and He always provides... even for the smallest flower.

It has been dark lately... dark and dry. Words written long ago, in the back of a copy of His love letter reminds me

The freshest dew and the purest air are always found in the desert.

The sweetness of those words taste like honey and soothe my soul. He encourages even in the darkest times. He is a personal God, not some far off being sitting on His throne. He will not let me remain weary. If I reach out to Him, He will answer.

Words from a prophet of old speak wisdom and as the weeks go by the truth of his words can be seen in my life.

I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own, it is not for man to direct his steps.

Jeremiah 10:23

 He asks me if I'm willing to let Him direct the steps... even if the road ahead looks dreary. Will I set one dream aside so that another can be fulfilled? Will I take a leap of faith and follow Him on a journey that is full of uncertainties and at times extremely despairing and lonely? My love for Him is tested and He wants an answer. He seeks my undying devotion and a willingness to trust Him no matter how dark the road gets.

The storms roll in and turmoil erupts all around me. The unexpected happens and it feels like the enemy is winning... and maybe he is. Let him rejoice in is current victories because one day he will be finished. Soon he will forever be destroyed... I turn to the hope that He promises an eternal victory. There will be a day with no more tears, no more fears, and no more pain. The enemies victory will be for but a moment because the Almighty will win forever.

He sends another verse... one more to be hung on a wall to serve as a daily reminder that He is real, He answers those who call for help and that His voice is distinct.

"They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you to rescue you and save you."

Jeremiah 15:20

The enemy will fight... will seek to destroy us all. He is not weak and he is relentless. He seeks to make us weary, to send us into confusion, anything that will lead us out of our Father's arms. When we reach our breaking point. When all we want to do is give up and stop fighting, that is when He steps in. He swoops in like a knight in shining armor to rescue his fair maiden from danger. He is the great Rescuer. The Lover who never stops loving. He picks us up and sets our feet on solid ground and slowly but surely begins to restore us.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 147:3

He won't leave me alone

Remember this verse from yesterday?

Blessed is the man who listens to Me,

Watching daily at My doors,

Waiting patiently at my doorway.

Proverbs 8:34

It's on my mind... working on my heart... haunting me... convicting me...

He won't leave me alone.

I run.

I hide.

I fight.

I argue.

He's still there. Never goes... it is I that leaves the safety of His arms

Why? Good question. I have no good answer. My flesh is oh so strong and lately it's voice loud. His voice is soft, yet consistent. Always there, whispering the same words over and over.

"I love you. Listen to Me. Wait on Me. Trust Me. I love you, and I have plans for you. Mighty plans. Your mine and I will never leave nor forsake you. Trust Me. Wait on Me."

"Blessed is the man"

I want to be blessed. 

The problem is I want what I want. I forget that His idea of blessings and mine are often very different. The thing is... His blessings are always better. His plans are always bigger then mine. At first they might like crazy... even scary, but in the end I'm always glad that He went His way and not mine.

"Who listens to ME,"

Listen. Ha! That is not a strong point in my life. I'm a talker... a thinker... a fixer... a doer. Listening requires stillness and being quiet. I'm pretty sure that is why I'm getting a lesson in waiting. My Father is trying to teach me how to be still. Everything I want to be... a wife... a mother... a teacher... a devoted Christ-follower. All of these require stillness... listening... patience... 

"Watching daily at my doors,"

Daily... in this verse this one word is what He keeps pointing out. Daily. Daily watch. Daily listen. Daily wait. Each day is a new battle. I may have lost the battle yesterday but today I can win. The war is already won. I know how it ends. I know that He will win... has won. But today I must choose to fight the battle. 

Today I will chose to listen... to watch... to wait... to trust in Him.

"Waiting at my doorway."

In the doorway... not in the back or in the dark. In the doorway! There is a plan for my life. There is a purpose. He knows.... not I. It's not my job to plan my steps... that's His job. My job is to wait in the doorway looking out knowing that there is a path. Knowing that my God has a plan. For now I am to stand here... quietly... listening for His voice... waiting on His timing.

Another rainy Saturday

So its another rainy day at the lot. Last night another series of storms came thundering across the state. Another night of peaceful sleep while the rain fell all around. There is a strong chance of another line coming again tonight. Have I mentioned that I LOVE rain, especially thunderstorms. I could do without the tornadoes that destroyed some parts of the state, leaving many without homes this morning. I am so thankful that the storms stayed clear of Greenbrier.

I was a little late to work this morning. When I arrived at my parents house I was gratefully surprised by a little voice yelling "Kaffer!!" My three year old nephew had spent the night at Poppy's and Mimi's. I LOVE that little boy more then I ever imagined that I could love a child. He is a very special boy and the best reminder of just how amazing God is. He is the joy of our family and spoiled to the core:) He was so excited to see me.. and immediately decided that we had to go play with his toys. I sadly had to tell him that I couldn't, that Kaffer had to go to work. I was rushing to get out the door, because of course I kept lingering around, soaking up every moment with this sweet little boy, I remembered that I needed to borrow a book from my mom to take with me to the lot. Ryan jumped up off the couch and ran over to his pile of books and said, "Here Kaffer, you can take my book!" It is moments like that which make your heart melt. Simple statements of a giving heart from one who is only been on this earth for a short while. There was no hesitation in his voice, he was excited at the chance to share his book with his aunt. He heard me voice a need, saw that he could help me, and immediately jumped up to do so.

Isn't that how was as Christians should be? Shouldn't we jump up at the opportunity to help others? Not just help but do so with an excited, joyful attitude. So often we help others out of obligation. After all Christ told us to help one another. It's one of those things that has crept onto our "Christian check list," just another way that I have done my Christian duty for the month. We as Christians, as followers of the One who never hesitates to help us, we need to develop an attitude more like that of my nephews. Even if it is something as simple as a book.