Saturday, May 29, 2010

He won't leave me alone

Remember this verse from yesterday?

Blessed is the man who listens to Me,
Watching daily at My doors,
Waiting patiently at my doorway.
Proverbs 8:34

It's on my mind... working on my heart... haunting me... convicting me...

He won't leave me alone.

I run.
I hide.
I fight.
I argue.

He's still there. Never goes... it is I that leaves the safety of His arms

Why? Good question. I have no good answer. My flesh is oh so strong and lately it's voice loud. His voice is soft, yet consistent. Always there, whispering the same words over and over.

"I love you. Listen to Me. Wait on Me. Trust Me. I love you, and I have plans for you. Mighty plans. Your mine and I will never leave nor forsake you. Trust Me. Wait on Me."

"Blessed is the man"

I want to be blessed. 

The problem is I want what I want. I forget that His idea of blessings and mine are often very different. The thing is... His blessings are always better. His plans are always bigger then mine. At first they might like crazy... even scary, but in the end I'm always glad that He went His way and not mine.

"Who listens to ME,"

Listen. Ha! That is not a strong point in my life. I'm a talker... a thinker... a fixer... a doer. Listening requires stillness and being quiet. I'm pretty sure that is why I'm getting a lesson in waiting. My Father is trying to teach me how to be still. Everything I want to be... a wife... a mother... a teacher... a devoted Christ-follower. All of these require stillness... listening... patience... 

"Watching daily at my doors,"

Daily... in this verse this one word is what He keeps pointing out. Daily. Daily watch. Daily listen. Daily wait. Each day is a new battle. I may have lost the battle yesterday but today I can win. The war is already won. I know how it ends. I know that He will win... has won. But today I must choose to fight the battle. 

Today I will chose to listen... to watch... to wait... to trust in Him.

"Waiting at my doorway."

In the doorway... not in the back or in the dark. In the doorway! There is a plan for my life. There is a purpose. He knows.... not I. It's not my job to plan my steps... that's His job. My job is to wait in the doorway looking out knowing that there is a path. Knowing that my God has a plan. For now I am to stand here... quietly... listening for His voice... waiting on His timing.



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