Live the yes

I read Ann's book and watch the chapter videos and listen to her pour out her heart. She asks"have you ever felt: that He didn't answer a prayer the way you thought it should of been answered.... wounded by Him..... that He wasn't there when you thought He would be (or rather not in the way you thought He should of been)??" and I shout yes to everyone of them.

She doesn't stop there. Ann keeps going... keeps prodding.... keeps convicting. How do I respond to Him in these situations? Do I hold His hand and keep walking or do I stop and shake my head no?

Do the words that come out of my mouth match up to the path my feet trod? Do I whisper yes, only to live the no?

In the first chapter of her book Ann boldly announces the great deceiver's lie, "It's the cornerstone of his movement. That God withholds good from His children, that God does not genuinely, fully, love us."

A few more paragraphs and I read this, "Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other." And I cringe.... because isn't that what this fight is all about? Isn't the whole reason for these feeling that are raging through me because I want, I crave something different then what He has set before me?

So the question I now ask myself is do I really want joy? Because if I do then it is up to me to change. He is there... always there.... all I have to do is live the yes.

The hard part of coming back to Him is that we... I think that to come back I need to superglue the pieces together before approaching His throne. I forget that He doesn't ask for us to come to Him whole.... in fact He requires us to come to Him broken, for only He can make us whole.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28