This morning while sipping on coffee I read about eucharisteo. A chapter ends and I lay aside the book and go on with my day. As I go about my chores my thoughts keep going back to those stories... the ones about death, of mothers burying their children, of pain I can't even begin to imagine.
I slid into my car and begin the journey to the friend who will soon be leaving. I try to throw away thoughts on the eucharisteo, I'm not in a thankful mood.... but then I drive by a cemetery. I see the hole freshly dug, and chairs set up for love ones to sit on. And He asks what about my life is so bad? I can no longer resist. I must accept the eucharisteo. I must fight for that joy.
But to be honest... I don't want to. To fight for joy means to no longer dwell in what I don't have, in the dreams have yet to come true.
A song comes on and I sing of how He loves me so. I sing and then I stop. I think about the words that I just sang.... "and all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory"
Is it possible that Ann's words are really true? That suffering really has "the realest possibility to bear down and deliver grace?"
And the words hit me so hard that here I am in a parking lot typing away at a screen, taking a moment to count before meeting that dear friend.
A long drive to contemplate words just read
The beauty of a cloudy day
Signs on the road, there to give us direction
Trees still bare
The strange warmth in the air... telling of a storm that is brewing
A book ready to be given away
A parking lot on the side of the highway... perfect spot for writing on eucharisteo