Saturday, November 27, 2010

The struggle with-in

It's been well over a week since I have ventured here to share my thoughts... my heart.

To be very honest with you I have stayed far away from this place... and it's not for lack of writing material.

I started writing here for myself.... as a way to record those things that He teaches me. A place that I could go back and read for myself what I have learned.... what I should of remembered.... and maybe share a few things with a few close friends.

But the God I serve once again shows me that it is never about me... and always about Him. One thing I have learned in the short time I have been blogging is that God uses the broken, the humble, the ones who feel so unworthy. He uses them in ways that make them uncomfortable.

I can't even begin to express my gratitude for the sweet words that so many of you leave for me to see.

I am once again left amazed at how He works.... after all none of you know the heart struggle I have. But He does, and He sends words of encouragement when I need it the most. 

You see there is a monstrous struggle going on inside of me. A tug-a-war of sorts between my flesh and my spirit. It slowly wears me down.

Another day goes by and as it draws to a close I head for bed. I turn to close the door and stop.... there right in front of me is a door covered in words.... words given to me from Him.

As I read the many verses my mind wanders back to the moments that each were written... each one holds a special meaning, all written down in moments when I thought I was lost beyond hope, moments when I felt no peace. Words of encouragement from the only One who can speak to the depths of my soul.

My eyes land on one, I close my eyes and let it sink in.
For the Lord your God is the One who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory." 
Deuteronomy 20:4

I do not fight this battle alone...

And according to this, losing is not an option.

Oh how wonderful and marvelous our Father is. He who is faithful to fight for us even when we prove to be unfaithful to Him.

1 comment:

TabithaVenasse said...

I wasn't going to read this today. As I'm getting settled into my nightly routine, I completely intended to read nothing, and just go on with my posting; save the reading for tomorrow.

But I'm glad I read it. That's a verse I needed to be reminded of, as I face my own large struggles right now.