Friday, October 15, 2010

Reckless Abandonment

Lying in bed, thinking about Him, searching for ways to be closer… to better know who He is.

I read from His book but still want more… my eyes move to the bookcase across the room.

I make my way and run my hands over all the different spines that fill the shelves. So many choices… many voices… many words.

Words….I’m so consumed with words. With the power that they have.

I search for words….words from one who has walked before me, from one who is far wiser then I could ever hope to be, one who might shed light on a part of Him that I have yet to find.

My hands stop, hover over a worn copy of a book. One that was given to me in the first few years of my journey here in the real world, in a world that often takes the unexpected turns, in a world where the only way to true happiness is found in the One who is the definition of happiness.

I am not yet ready to share the name of this book...maybe sometime soon...maybe far in the future…..maybe never unless asked.

I carry it back to the bed with me, open the cover and read the note from the wise women who so graciously made it a point to give it to me. The words turn blurry through my tear-filled eyes as I feel His arms wrap around me in a way that is unexplainable. He sends comfort to me in my most favorite way….through words.

Reckless abandonment

Those are the words that He speaks….

Reckless abandonment

That is what He wants from me.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind.

Recklessly follow Me….recklessly love Me….recklessly leave behind all that you know, all that is comfortable, all that is normal, all that you think will fulfill you.
Leave it all

All of it?

Yes, all of it.

I want it all….all your hopes, all your dreams, all your desires…..all your plans.

I am all you have ever hoped for….I will make your dreams come true….I will fulfill your deepest desires….and I will make all your plans.

But to do so means giving up everything.


“A whole new generation of Christians has come up believing that it is possible to ‘accept’ Christ without forsaking the world.” A.W. Tozer

Following Him with reckless abandonment requires forsaking the world and all that it has to offer.

So few truly understand that following Him cannot be done half-heartedly. He will not be satisfied with just a part of you...He wants all or nothing.

Giving up everything to Him means that I must die….and death is painful.

He promises life, life abundantly. The dreams, the desires, the plans that He offer’s are worth that painful death.

Its not just a religion to follow.

No, He wants more from you then just some religious acts. He wants your heart.

He wants me to recklessly abandon everything.... and follow Him.

Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me."
Matthew 16:24


David Rupert said...

Wow. This is so moving. I too have been struggling with this abandonment. am I willing? am I ready? Could I.
Wonderful wonderful post. I plan on using this on the "Around the Network" roundup for High Calling blogs. Can you drop me a line?

Lyla Lindquist said...

There were only a few things He told us to be careful about, weren't they? And I don't remember them being to be careful about how we run after Him. For that He would love reckless.

Stopping over from HCB, great to see this featured. And really enjoyed your current reading list -- Lewis, Yancy and DekKer are great company.

L.L. Barkat said...

Reckless abandonment. Like a kind of dance.

(Came over through Nice to see you highlighted there. :)

David Rupert said...

I hope you were pleased at my mention of this post over at The High Calling, "Around the Network" monthly best of posts.

I really like this post and all of your work. Keep writing!

David Rupert, Editor, High Calling Newsletter