Completely off topic post

So I really didn't think I would write on here about this.... but really I can't help myself.

You see I like football.... well maybe that's an understatement. I LOVE football.

College is fantastic and I am a true Arkansas Razorback fan. I love them hogs and when my 3 yr old nephew feels like I'm ignoring him he starts that wooooooooooo pig sooooooey and it always works (I've trained him well) :-):-)

However, nothing compares to my dedication and love for my Patriots. I am a loyal, die hard New England fan.

Like so loyal that this morning at about 7 I get a twitter update from Mike Reese, their media guy, saying that Tom Brady was in a car wreck. That was it. I think my heart might have stopped. It was a long 5 min before the next update came that said he was ok.

Needless to say... that's not a good way to be woken up in the morning.

Are you catching on to the fact that I sorta like football:-)

Well... tonight is the kickoff for the NFL. I love watching college football, especially SEC, but I completely and utterly enjoying watching NFL. Tonight the Vikings play the Saints and I am practically jumping up and down with excitement!

Oh and I get my iphone today:-)

So really... its a perfect day:-)

Roomie had to remind me of that after some things that happened earlier today. But I'm looking past those things and counting down the hours till kickoff

5 and a half hours!!!!!!!!!!

Apples and Spaghetti

Sometimes life doesn't go the way we plan on it going.

Sometimes His plans and my plans are like apples and spaghetti.

Sometimes I don't like His plans.... and sometimes I have the audacity to tell Him so.

That's what I did the other night. On the long drive home, I tuned out the child in the back telling stories to her stuffed dog, and had a long talk with my Maker.

So many thoughts running through my head... so many things going on in my life..... so many paths that can be taken.

He says, "I want you to walk this way".... I say, "I want to walk that way."

He says, "if you will go my way... willingly and obediently then you will eat the best of the land."

I say.... "how about I take this road and eat the second best of the land??"

That was the wrong thing to say.

I feel His anger... or maybe its more like disappointment.

Really... really?? "You would settle for the second best when I'm willing to give you the best???" He firmly asks.

Have you've ever been there?? So uncomfortable with the path that has been laid before you that you shake your head no. It looks so different.... maybe even scary... that you cling to this other idea and stop in your tracks unwilling to move forward.

He's been so patient with me these last few months as I've struggles and wrestled with His plans. Last night I knew that the time for patience was over.

Like a father who firmly puts his foot down and says enough. The Father says, "No, this is not an okay thing to ask. You cannot settle. I care too much for you to let you settle for anything less then the best. I'm sorry that you don't like it, I'm sorry that it's not what you had in mind. But enough of this fighting. I've told you what I expect, where I want you to go. I'm done with your rebellion. It's time to step up and take my hand. You know that I am always here, that I will be there every step of the way. Trust me my child."

Not exactly what I wanted to hear.

I sat there and let His words sink in. I don't like them. I don't like what He is asking me to do... I'm not exactly thrilled about the direction He is asking me to go.

You see, this path... the one He wants me on.... is lonely.I know it is because He has told me so. That, I'm pretty sure is the reason that I fight so hard.

I kept asking.... begging for a different way, The answer last night was a very clear, no.

The only choice now is to step up and walk forward. Something I've learned in my short time here on this earth is that sometimes the only thing you can do is the next right thing. If I wait on a willingly attitude then I might never move. However if I take that first step... become obedient then He rewards that. The willing and joyful attitude will follow. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even next week, but I must keep stepping forward one foot at a time.

There's a large mountain ahead of me and the journey looks treacherous and impossible. But I know that with Him all things are possible and that no path is too treacherous with Him by my side.

Light night ponderings

Driving home late at night, or rather early one morning.

Driving.... praying..... worshiping... trying to listen.

I'm not very good at listening. A song I love says that I can't hear God if I'm talking. 

I talk.... way too much. Maybe that's why I... you have a hard time hearing.

So, I take a deep breathe... and close my mouth. I drive in silence. Trying my best to stop my thoughts... my feelings... my own desires to interfere with hearing His thoughts... His heart... His desires.

A few minutes is all I can give.

As I drive I stare out across the hay fields I'm passing by.... staring up at the heavens, the stars that my Maker has made. I think about His might, His power, His vastness. He created all those stars, yet He cares about this small human driving a car along this old highway. 

What does He think about me? What goes through His mind? How is it possible for Him to care so much for me? And what does He want with me? I want to hear His thoughts. I want to feel His heartbeat. I desperately want to do what He wants me to do.
Another favorite song plays.

I smile and let the words fill my soul. The love of the Creator came down and rescued me... He came to set me free. And the best part..... I am His.

No matter how high the mountain is.

No matter how low the valley is.

I am His. I am His.... His forever. For all my days... I am His.

Nothing can separate me from His grasp.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39

 

Counting on....

Thankfully I and my many animals are all moved into our new house. Getting the horses here was def an adventure... and not a pleasant one. You can read about it here. Quite frustrating... but at least they are here. I cannot describe just how wonderful it is to finally have them in my backyard. I never thought it would happen this quickly. My life is still in boxes. The bathroom is currently the holding area, along with the closet and the whole far side of my room. I am attacking them slowly... one box at a time and a few every day. I finally got the bathroom cleared, only to move the boxes from the car in there... but hey at least my car is now free of boxes:-) It is a very slow process and I'm ready for it to be done so I can start decorating the walls.

Emotionally, I'm doing fantastic. I have such a peace about this move. I know that this is right were I'm supposed to be living. For the first time in awhile I feel like I'm settling into a routine. Which means that God is about to move.... cuz He never leaves me in a routine.... but hey I'm ready for it. I know that He is just preparing me for something great. I have a few things that I've been pondering about lately so stay tuned:-)


#383-400

My new house

Sleeping in my bed for the first time in 2 weeks

Getting the 5 yr old ready for school

My nephews smile

Talks with a friend

The strange way that the Lord works

Water fights

Cooler weather

Shopping with my parents

Celebrating my dad's birthday

A wonderful night with just the girls

Getting up early and kissing the noses of my horses

A good workout with both horses

An arena with lights:-)

Long drives and good talks with the Father

Money for an iphone

The freedom of being financially on my own

Peace from Him that only He can give

  The LORD gives strength to His people; the LORD blesses His people with peace.

Psalm 29:11

His Hands

His hands are mighty, they formed the heavens and the earth.

His hands are creative, they form each and every one of us.

His hands are full of mercy.

"Let us fall into the hands of the LORD, for His mercy is great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men."

2 Samuel 24:14

His hands are powerful, they have wiped out entire nations in one full swoop.

His hands are tender, they hold our tears in them.

His hands are healing hands.

  

"For He wounds, but He also binds up;
       He injures, but His hands also heal."

Job 5:18

His hands are always open, He never turns one of His children away. No matter how far you have ran, or how long you've been gone.

 "The works of His hands are faithful and just; all His precepts are trustworthy."

Psalm 111:7

Never Alone

I love that He is personal... and that He speaks to me in ways that I understand. In ways that I can relate too.

This song has been out for some time now, yet it seems that lately it is always playing when I turn on the radio.

Sometimes our feelings betray us... sometimes He feels far way. At times.... it even feels as if He has abandoned us.

Have you've been there?

I have.

I'm not currently there... but I know some of you are.

There are days that I cry out to Him and I get no reply, days when I feel as if I'm walking this road alone. Emotions can be misleading, a tool the enemy uses to plant doubt deep inside.

He is a part of me.... He and I are one. Never to be separated... for all of eternity I will be with Him. There has never been a day.. a second...  since that day 10 years ago that I have walked alone.

It doesn't matter what your feelings are telling you.

He is there.

He is here.

Always and forever.... holding onto you.... step by step guiding you.

Rest in that simply, yet profound fact. Take it to heart. Hold tight to that when loneliness creeps in and tries to drag you down.

Unwanted lesson

Sitting in church, listening.... struggling. The pastor says words that do not sit well within this rebellious and wretched person.

Words... questions that challenge who I am and who I want to be.

Do you ever give God advice on what He should do with your life?

I grimace, hide my eyes and inside I fill with shame. The answer is of course yes, far more often then I'd like to admit.

Then something stirs within and I hear a quiet yet clear voice.... how often do you get mad when I don't listen to your advice?

Ouch.... ok Father, you got me, right where You want me... right where I need to be.

I'm listening even though the words hurt, even though the lesson is unwanted.

The pastor preaches on, reminding me of truths I know, truths that are at the core of who I am.

I am most satisfied when I am satisfied in Him. The happiest I will ever be, is right where He wants me.

Not where I want to be.

No greater joy can be found then that which is found when I am at the center of His will... when He is the center of my life.

I ask Him for forgiveness... I don't like being outside His will. I desperately want Him to be what my life is centered around.

Father forgive me when I fail you, forgive me when I think I know best. Thank you for extending great mercy upon one who deserves nothing but Your wrath.