Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Myself must die

I found a new band that I really like. One of their songs very clearly depicts the struggle of our flesh. This is the hardest part about following Christ, or at least it is in my own life. My flesh is oh so strong and at times I feel like it wins most of the time. I know that in the end my spirit will win the war as Christ will finally crush the serpants head once and for all. But for now I feel as if my flesh is winning every battle. It is very depressing feeling and extremely exhausting. In book 4 chapter 8 of Mere Christianity C.S. Lewis explains this battle. I am going to do my very best to summarize what this great man had to say about it all. When we come to Christ we discover that we have two sides to our self, the natural sinful self who looks out for only itself and now the spirit side that longs to obey and serve Christ. These two are at war and will be at war till you leave this earth and go to live with our Father. Lewis makes a statement that is very blunt. I think that if we all look closely at our own life we will see that this describes us all. "But we are hoping all the time that when all the demands have been met, the poor natural self will still have some chance, and some time, to get on with its own life and do what it likes." When Christ says to surrender all to His throne, that He demands all of our life it may at first glance seem easy. As if it is a one time act. As if after we complete the transaction we can go back to the way we were living. There is nothing simple about Christianity. It is easier but it is also harder.

"The Christian way is different: harder, and easier. Christ says 'Give me All. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much your work: I want you. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, , I want to have the whole tree down. I don't want to drill a tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it removed. Hand over the natural self, all the desires which you think are inoccent as well as the ones you think wicked - the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you myself: my own shall become yours.'"

It is not an easy thing to do... its hard, and painful. Lewis agrees that it is hard but he says that what we are doing is actually harder. "For what we are trying to do is to remain what we call 'ourselves,' to keep personal happiness as our great aim in life, and yet at the same time be 'good.'''

Thats what I am battling right now... I really do want to follow God with my heart, soul, and mind. The problem is there is still apart of that wants my plans to work out. I get very discouraged at times because I know that my flesh is strong.. however the God I serve is stronger! I know that if I just keep doing the next right thing, (thanks Kris) that my flesh will evenutally die. I will be victorious, I will win because My God wins this war. I must cease to be myself, stop caring about who I am and start caring about who He is.

Take a look at this video I love the dipiction of the fight between our flesh and our spirit. Evnutally the flesh will die... it will in a sense be the death of me. Thankfully through Jesus my spirit will live with Him forever.

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